literature

Intro for story

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Literature Text

Chapter 1: “Where am I?”
She awoke to see darkness it surrounded her completely.  Not even a speck of light could be seen, no noises either.  Straining, she could feel her eyes straining, searching for the unseen light.
‘W-Where am I?’ she asked herself.  
She tried to lift an arm, but as soon as she even tensed her muscles a horrible wave of pain rushed through her entire body.  It had no mercy against her distressing body, just kept aching.  From the rush of agony she could feel the places she had been bruised badly.  
Her wrists, there was a burning feeling along her wrist.  For a short while it felt as if there was something tough and stringy wrapped around them, but it soon faded away.  Her fingers, they ached the most, she immediately knew that they were broken.  They felt as if they have been crumpled up like a piece of paper after someone’s bad idea.  She could just barely feel the small cuts on her arms, but the bruises stuck out the most.  Her legs, she could feel deep cuts and punctures in her legs near the bone.  By her ankles had the same feeling as on her wrists but not as intense.  Her head, a painful headache pounded in her head.  The throbbing made her grind her teeth together, which resulted in more pain.  She calmed down a bit a just lay in the darkness, thinking, remembering.  Unfortunately, her memory was obstructed in whatever happened to her that led to her being here.  The thinking she did made her head ache even more, then her body started hurting.  She lay struggling through the pain until she couldn’t take it any longer; hot tears ran down the sides of her face.  This kunoichi has only cried twice in her lifetime, the fact that she was shedding tears in this unacceptable situation made her breakout even harder and even more.  Her sobs could be heard, then…
Creak
A bright shard of light rushed into the darkroom.  It stretched across the room past the kunoichi but not hitting her.  The light still made her squint her eyes; they have become too accustom to the darkness that it took her a while to adjust.  Once, her vision adjusted she strained to look down and saw that her hands were tied tight to her ankles.  Bright red lines were barely noticeable in the dim light on her wrists under the thick, straw rope.  She struggled to look back up at a figure kneeling in front of her face.
In the light that streamed into the room from outside, the manly figure seemed to be wearing a dark blue cloak.  What was underneath couldn’t be seen.  He wore a tan Capri pant with bandages wrapped around his calves.  The dim light showed dark blue hair but the darkness covered his face.
‘Who is the person?’
“Welcome back, Rin.”
I started to write a story that I think will be good. And I got too anxious and couldn't wait to finish the story to post it. So I decided I would show you the first chapter. My cousin read it and said it was an attention-grabber so i finally made my decision. I hope you all like it. PLS COMMENT IF IT'S GOOD, BAD, NEED'S A GRAMMER CHECK, ANYTHING JUST TELL ME SO I CAN FIX IT AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. THX LAHV YOOH!
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stillherelove's avatar
Yes, I've read the first few lines and I will give you a full-fledge analysis as soon as I have the time... comment me back for that?